Their notsolittle Adventure
by korome
Summary: Austria tells Romano that Spain is in a bit  sort of  in a pinch. They set off to help Spain but meet with more than easy-to-handle situations. Crack!Fic, no real pairings included. Rated T for some hints as well as swearing. Later chaps have more crack.
1. The hell Spain?

**A/N: Hi everyone did you guys miss me~? /shot ok straight to the point =v=;; I hope you guys have read the summary OvO If not go back and read now! Jk jk =v= Anyways enjoy this crack fic that me (Roma at start, France, Hungary, Spain and 3rd Person) and my friends rp-ed about (we did not stick to the same character though XD). Many thanks to VentusBDaPlayer (mostly Austria and 3rd Person), selinawen (Austria at start, Switzerland, Roma in the end) and Tako (a bit of Austria, a bit of Switz and our awesome bull OvO;;) for rp-ing in this too XD Enjoy this crack fic! OvOb  
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><p>One day, Romano was in the garden picking tomatoes until he realised that something was missing. He ran back into his house upon realising that Austria wanted to visit him today. However he was still in his pyjamas.<p>

"CHIGIIII! SPAIN! HELP ME!" He screamed at the top of his voice.

However, remembered that Spain was busy today and started screaming, "SPAIN, YOU BASTARD!"

Frantically, he scrambled and ran up to his room to dig out for his clothes. At that moment, Austria arrived at his house and was ringing his doorbell.

Romano jumped up in fright and screamed "CHIGIIIIIIIIII!" at the top of his lungs. He grabbed a random shirt and trousers and tried to change as fast as he could.

"Hello?" Austria said as he knocked on the door.

Romano panicked as he ran down without realising that his clothes were worn the other way round.

Still not realising that, he opened the door and screamed, "I'M HERE YOU BASTARD!

"Yes I realised. And your shirt..." Austria pushed up his glasses while pointing at Romano's shirt. "Is worn the wrong way."

Romano stared as his shirt as he blushed hard in embarrassment.

Austria sighed and said "You idiot..."

Romano, who was angered, shouted a quick "I'M NOT AN IDIOT CHIGIIII!" back at Austria.

"Right." Austria said. "Now you might want to wear your shirt properly?"

"CHIGIIII!" Romano screamed and slammed the door hard in front of Austria before trying to get his shirt back to the right side.

Austria raised an eyebrow and just stood at door questioningly, wondering when would Romano open the door again. Romano angrily got his shirt switched to the right side, glaring at where Austria stood behind that very door. Austria knocked on the door again, hoping that the fiery Italian had calmed down. Or not.

Romano opened the door once again and exclaimed, "IT'S WORN PROPERLY NOW YOU BASTARD!"

Austria gave a sigh, "Please calm down." He looked right into Romano's eyes, "The reason I came to your place today was because of Spain." He shook his head slightly to show that he was forced into it.

Romano was shocked. "WAIT. WHAT. HOW. WHEN. W-W-WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT TOMATO BASTARD?"

Austria adjusted his glasses and said, "I am not exact of the details, however it was extremely chaotic."

"That tomato bastard better have a good explanation of whatever that might have happened!" Romano said grudgingly.

Austria sighed. "How about you let me in and I'll tell you the whole story?"

"F-Fine..." Romano groaned and decided and moved to a side, giving way for Austria to walk in.

"Thank you." Austria bowed as he walked into Romano's house.

They entered the living room, settling down by the sofa. Of course, Romano tried to sit as far away from Austria as possible.

Austria sighed and said, "May I ask why are you sitting so far away?"

"Why can't I?" Romano retorted back with a snort.

Austria wondered just how Spain actually raised Romano up. "Please do move closer," he said.

"W-Why should I?" Romano exclaimed as he shook his head and crossed his legs.

Austria gave off a sigh, deciding to forget about Romano's straight denial to sit nearer. "Would you mind if you prepare me some tea?"

Romano snapped, stood up and shouted at Austria. "DAMMIT! JUST TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED ALREADY"

"You are so helpless," Austria gave off yet another sigh. "I have no other choice."

"Yes! Spit it out you bastard!" Romano exclaimed.

Austria explained the story in an extremely slow and detailed manner.

"GO STRAIGHT TO THE POINT YOU BASTARD!" Romano slammed onto the coffee table whilst glaring at him, totally annoyed.

Austria finally gave up on ticking Romano off. "His capital got attacked by bulls that were accidentally set out at a nearby zoo."

"What." Romano finally said after a long pause.

"Yes...that idiot..." Austria said with a sigh.

"WHAT THE F*CK I DON'T EVEN- ARGHHHH SPAIN YOU IDIOT!" Romano shouted while face-palming.

"Romano, I shall ask a favour from you." Austria said in a composed manner.

"WHAT IS IT NOW. Argh…." Romano was still mad at Spain for being such an idiot.

"Please follow me to Spain's house to help with the mess." Austria said with a sigh.

"GODDAMNED SHIT NO." Romano slammed his feet onto the coffee table, clearly annoyed.

Austria looked at Romano in depression. "I thought you would definitely help him. Plus, I am lost."

"WHAT? WHY THE HELL WOULD I? AUSTRIA YOU IDIOT!" Romano exclaimed.

"Your stupidity is definitely worse than mine. So?" He said, still calm.

Romano annoyed more than ever, lost it and whipped out a pistol from under the sofa and pointed it at Austria. "IDIOT I AM NOT STUPID." Romano gave Austria a dirty look and spat at him.

"That pistol would come in handy if you follow me to Spain." Austria continued, wiping away some saliva of his face.

"He raised you and was your boss after all..." Austria said with a sigh. "You can shoot me all you want after the crisis," Austria finished.

"I-I DON'T CARE ABOUT THOSE STUFF DAMMIT!" Romano shouted at Austria

"Alright," Austria finally sighed, "I'll go by myself."

Romano jumped out of the sofa and ran to the door and slammed it open, gesturing for Austria to leave. "Good bye and good riddance dammit"

Austria silently walked out of the house without any complains.

Romano grumbled, slammed the door and plonked back on the sofa, annoyed.

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	2. So where are we again?

Austria left Italy as he ventured towards Spain.

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As Romano sat on the sofa, he suddenly had unnecessary memories of all the happy times he had with Spain before. "W-Why do I have to think of those dammit..." He grumbled.

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Was it North? It was definitely North. Austria walked, thinking. Before he knew it, he knocked onto a barrier. It was labeled, "Neutrality Barrier".

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"Gaaahhh! DAMMIT!" Romano exclaimed angrily, slammed the door opened and ran out, heading towards Spain.

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"Hm...I'm quite surprised that the emotional blackmailing didn't work on him..." Austria thought as his mind drifted off to Romano.

Romano stopped in his tracks after a while and looked right and left before exclaiming "W-Where the hell am I now dammit!"

Austria turned around, hoping to go the right way this time, only to find an outraged and lost Italian in front of him. 

Romano turned and saw Austria and pointed at him immediately "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT YOU BASTARD!"

"And what did I do," Austria asked questioningly, folding his arms.

"EVERYTHING IS ALL YOUR FAULT YOU BASTARD!" Romano exclaimed angrily, almost tearing up.

Austria stared back with a deadpan expression. "How? Please, do explain." 

"F-Firstly... WHERE THE HELL ARE WE NOW DAMMIT!" Romano exclaimed.

Austria looked around, noting the semi-familiar surroundings. However, he couldn't quite remember where exactly this place was. "I...I don't know either. You should have given me directions to Spain's place, instead of sulking in your seat."

"I didn't even want to come in the first place." Romano kept complaining while walking around the area aimlessly. 

"WHAT THE HELL ARE THE TWO OF YOU DOING IN MY TERRITORY!" A loud voice rang from behind; it was none other than Switzerland, with a rifle in hand.

"WAGH!" Romano jumped as he cursed and swore loudly at Switzerland.

"We had lost our way," was Austria's simple reply. He glanced at the firearm warily, having learnt of the dangers of a trigger-happy person at an early age.

"LOST YOUR WAY AGAIN!" Switzerland exclaimed, clearly not amused.

"IT WAS HIS FAULT" Romano jumped upon the sight of his rifle that he was carrying all the time and pointed at Austria.

"Not me you idiot..." Austria sighed and explained "Which way was it to Spain again?" 

Switzerland face-palmed. "You turn left after exiting Italian territory, not straight up to mine." 

"RIGHT. OF COURSE IT WAS." Romano exclaimed in pure genius-ness.

"I see..." Austria sighed "Let's get going then, Romano..." He headed towards that direction.

"I know I know. Tch." Romano scoffed as he followed the Austrian. 

"Good riddance," the Swiss muttered, before contacting the Doctor on how to strengthen his Neutrality Barrier.

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	3. City of Love

"Oi Austria. We're in France now right?" Romano could literally feel the sparkles and the love in the air. It was horrid to him.

Austria looked around a little and said "I guess we are..." He sighed and said "I somehow hope that we would not run into him today..."

"Romano~~!" A familiar voice shouted from behind.

Romano froze and turned around cautiously.

Austria silently turned as well. "He can't happen to be here, can he not?"

"Romano~~! Have you come to visit brother?" France ran up to him and hugged him from behind.

"CHIGI! AUSTRIA! SAVE ME YOU IDIOT!" Romano exclaimed loudly, totally hating what is going on. He just kept cursing and swearing at France.

Austria sighed, "We are just passing by your area." 

"Oh hon hon~ Why not stay for a while~?" France sang while snuggling Romano.

"LIKE HELL I WILL DO THAT...CHIGIIIIII!" Romano exclaimed, still struggling.

"We simply refuse," Austria replied calmly. "Please let go of Romano."

"D'awww but Romano is so cute, no~?" France started to tickle Romano under his chin.

"Urggggghhhhh... GET HIM OFF ME YOU BASTARD!" Romano exclaimed, almost in tears.

Austria prepared a minature piano figure. "I am ready," he sighed.

"AUSTRIA HOW THE HELL IS THAT GOING TO HELP." Romano was very pissed off.

"Be less assured that it will work," Austria was still composed.

"DAMMIT! CHIGIIIIII!" Romano exclaimed angrily.

"Oh hon hon~?" France looked at Austria curiously. "Now now Romano don't be so noisy." France chided Romano and tugged his curl lightly.

"CHIGIIIIII...Urggghhhhh...Ooh..." Romano was soon in tears.

"That is an extremely inappropriate action to do," Austria continued as the miniature piano figure transformed into an actual piano.

France whistled while he continued tugging Romano's curl. "Impressive portable piano you have there Austria~!"

Austria started to smash the piano as the melody of Chopin Anger plays.

"Very well done Austria," France complimented and clapped as Austria finished playing the tune.

"It was not meant for entertainment," Austria turned to give quite the glare at France.

"It was for me~" Shrugging, France released Romano and placed a kiss on his forehead. "Au revoir mon cher~" Giggling, France strode away.

Romano felt goose bumps racing across his skin and his face turning hot and red after what France did to him. "Urghhhh..."

Austria gave a sigh as he stood up to turn his piano back to a miniature figure.

"L-Let's get out of here now dammit!" Romano exclaimed, shivering.

"I have to agree with you on this one," he said, walking out of the territory.

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	4. All else that ends well?

And so the duo walked for about 30 minutes and they finally reached the border of Spain.

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"I believe we didn't lose our way this time," Austria looked up to make sure he was right.

"Where's Spain now dammit!" Romano grumbled, looking around.

Austria silently lifted up a finger towards a number of crazy bulls running about.

"WHAT THE HELL! D-DAMMIT! CHIGIIII!" Romano exclaimed. 

Austria sighed, thinking of a way to help Spain.

Spain, who was running away from the stampede, noticed Romano and started running towards him. "ROMANOOOO! HELP MEEEE!"

"SPAIN YOU BASTARD! DON'T RUN TOWARDS ME YOU IDIOT!" Romano exclaimed and started running as well.

"BUT I'M BEING CHASED! IT'S TOO MUCH BULLS! TOO MUCH!"

It was too late. The bulls that were rampaging around the capital started to chase after Spain. Spain had tears in his eyes and continued running towards Romano and Austria.

"I never knew you were this cowardly." Austria said, still composed.

"GAAAHHHHHH! THE BULLS ARE COMING AFTER US! CHIGIIIIIIII!" Romano exclaimed, running away from Spain.

"TRY HAVING THIS STAMPEDE OF BULLS CHASING YOU FOR ABOUT 2 HOURS! I CAN HANDLE 2-3 BULLS BUT THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH!" Spain was already going breathless and slowing down drastically. 

Austria's miniature piano transformed into a piano again. Instead it was even bigger this time. Unfortunately for him, Austria's piano got trampled over by the bulls before he could do anything.

Austria looked at his broken piano in despair. "YOU FOOLISH FOOLS OF ALL FOOLS!" He shouted in anger.

"RUN AUSTRIA RUN! THE BULLS ARE CLOSING UP THE GAP!" Spain shouted at Austria, hoping he still had some common sense left in him.

Romano ran away from both Spain and the bulls, crying "CHIIIIGIIIII!" occasionally.

One of the bulls approached Austria.

"This is never too late." Austria sighed, closing his eyes as he got the music conductor stick and poked it onto the approaching bull's head.

The bull seemingly blinked in surprise upon being tapped at by the funny-looking human with the weird stick. It preferred the humans being all scared and running around, so it went after the darker human instead. 

To an ordinary outsider, this was in fact quite a hilarious sight to see. Someone poking a stick into a bull's head, and two people running about in a circle getting chased by a stampede.

Austria composedly poked the stick deeper into the bull's head while taking up a music score with his other hand.

Then the bull spoke in heavily accented Middle English. "Prithee, good sir, why dost thou tappest me upon my head?"

Austria stared at the bull with shock. "Dear Mr. Bull, where may you have originated from?" he asked, still refusing to let go of the stick.

The bull also seemed surprised at its sudden ability to speak. And in English even, not Spanish! But he never knew his father, so... "Call me Alphonse," the bull said.

Austria glared at the bull, wondering how it could speak. "Alright, Mr. Alphonse. Where did you come from?"

"I'm not too sure, my mother was a Spanish cow born and bred, but I never knew my father."

Austria finally decided to ignore the bull but it was too cracky for him to accept of it. He let go of the bull; however hit it with his musical score he just took out. 

"AUSTRIA MIND HELPING US WITH THIS STAMPEDE HERE INSTEAD OF TALKING TO THAT BULL?" Spain was getting dizzy from running in circles and was about to faint anytime soon.

"YESS! HELP US YOU BASTARDDDD!" Romano exclaimed as he ran, crying.

Austria sighed as he gave Alphonse a spanking with his music score and went towards the two being chased by the bulls. 

"Ah Romano I just realised we could actually run and climb over that wall quickly," Spain said while running and gesturing to the low nearby wall, "and let the bulls crash into it!" He started laughing sheepishly of how he had not thought of it before.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU THINK OF THAT EARLIER YOU IDIOT?" Romano exclaimed as he ran towards the wall.

Austria took his cell phone out and contacted somebody. "Guten Tag, would that be Hungary speaking? This is Austria. Would you send over my piano to Madrid? Yes, I am over there dealing with the bulls now. Danke."

"SORRY I WAS TOO BUSY RUNNING!" Spain replied as he too ran towards the wall. "OK ROMANO! ON THE COUNT OF THREE, JUMP!"

"One...Two...Three JUMP!" Spain yelled as he leapt over the wall.

"CHIGIIII!" Romano exclaimed before leaping over the wall as well. 

Austria looked at the wall and observed the incoming bulls. He hoped Hungary would arrive with his final weapon soon.

The bulls rammed into the wall and it collapsed with a pile of dust and soot, with a few bricks flung out. Most bulls were on the floor, rammed into each other and some of thier horns were interlocked with each other. However they were still a few stray bulls running around.

"o-o-ouch..." Spain laid on top of Romano, rubbing his head from the impact.

"G-Get off me, Spain you bastard! You are heavy dammit!" Romano exclaimed. 

"Please hurry," Austria muttered softly as he leaped over the wall to observe the area.

Suddenly there was a helicopter in the air, filling the area with the helicopter's blades' whirls. A giant piano was lowered onto the ground with a 'thud'. Austria looked up at the helicopter and muttered a 'Danke'. He settled down in front of the piano and started to play a piece to scare the bulls away. Hungary who was steering the helicopter, mouthed the words "no problem" and flew away.

The music dramatically stopped as the bulls moved back to the nearby zoo. Austria stood up with his usual composed face. "Does this settle all?" 

Spain crawled away from Romano, stood up and brushed his pants. "Sorry Roma~" He patted Romano's head and smiled sweetly. "And thank you Austria for you help~" Spain looked dead tired from sprinting around the whole place for about 2 hours.

"You are always welcome." Austria replied calmly. "Now that the problem is settled, I figure it's time I head back." His piano turned into a miniature figure once again.

Romano blushed and looked away for a moment before hitting Spain and exclaiming "SPAIN YOU BIG IDIOT!"

Spain picked Romano up and hugged him while planting a kiss on his cheek. "Awww but Romano you came to help me!" Spain grinned widely at him before turning to Austria to say his thanks once more, "Thanks Austria~! You're a life saver!"

"You do not need to thank me once again." Austria said and left the country of Passion back. Of course, it was completely expected that he'd lose his way once again.

Romano blushed deeply and struggled "P-P-Put me down you idiot! I'm not a kid now dammit!"

Spain watched Austria as he left and chuckled. "I hope he don't lose his way again~! Now now Romano let's go home shall we~?" Spain ignored Romano's complaints and happily carried him back to his house, laughing along the way.

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><p><strong>AN: HAHAHAHA I TOLD YOU IT WAS CRACK. omg the talking bull. -tears and starts laughing again- What is airrrrrrr XDDDD Anwyays thank you for taking your time to read this super cracky ultra fail rp that went on for 4 hours without us noticing =v= omg I totally neglected homework 8D;; So yep~ I hope you enjoyed it OvO R&R please~!**


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